Autism: Burden or Blessing?

By Denise Meissner, OTR/L

Co-Founder and Owner of QCharm, LLC

Caring for someone with Autism can feel like a burden and a blessing. When I was an Occupational Therapy student, I worked 8 hours a day with students severely affected by Autism. One of the burdens I experienced was dealing with the students’ screams and outbursts when I had to transition them out of their favorite activities. On one particularly difficult day, I prayed out loud that if I ever have children, please don’t let them have Autism.

Seven years later I even wrote that in my first born son’s pregnancy journal. I just couldn’t imagine anything good coming out of parenting a child with Autism. Confident that my “no Autism” had been heard, I didn’t write it in my second son’s pregnancy journal. Coincidentally, he was born with Autism. Ultimately the blood work revealed that his Autism was related to his abnormal amount of chromosome #15.

The running “joke” in our family is that his Autism was my fault.

The first 4 years of our youngest son’s Autism (days and nights filled with outbursts, screaming, hitting, biting, throwing food, and throwing up), I most certainly felt burdened and punished. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained, I knew I didn’t have the skills or desire to deal with our son’s behaviors. It took several months to realize that our son’s Autism was allowing us to meet and work with experts who did have the skills and desires. Their behavior and communication techniques were just what we needed to elevate our level of parenting. Unlike families of “normal” children we were fortunate to receive their instruction, compassion, and encouragement. What a blessing!

It took 5 years for the shock of the Autism diagnosis to wear off and for the newly learned skills to set in. We were able to enjoy spending time with our son and to help him enjoy spending time with us. By the 6^th year, I was well versed in the use of visual strategies and First____Then____ phrases. But there were two things driving me crazy. 1) The large box of visual cues was very difficult to transport within the home and out in the community and 2) the cues required significant chunks of time to create. So while I was cutting out squares of Boardmaker images, peeling laminating sheets and adhering Velcro strips, our son was spraying the backyard with an entire can of air freshener. “Mommy! I made the backyard smell pretty!” (“Great!”)

Then, one afternoon, it happened. Sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for our son to finish his business, I realized that “down times” like this could be and must be used as teachable moments. The large box of carefully crafted visual cue cards was, naturally, out of reach. With our son’s history of behaviors, I was not about to leave the bathroom just to get a few cards.

What I did have on hand (literally) was a charm bracelet. Using the seashell and other beach related charms as visual cues, I explained what to expect during our upcoming beach trip. For example, we get to walk the beach to collect shells, we get to visit the place that teaches about turtles, and he must hold my hand to walk into the water. Ding ding ding ding! That’s it! I need to find a way to have his cues on my wrist. After much research, several phone calls and multiple emails, my husband and I successfully filed for the patent of our Portable and Visual Cueing System. Soon after, we joined forces with the two owners of EZBands to create QCharm, LLC. Now we were able to provide other caregivers and educators with images pad printed onto ½ inch by ½ inch flat-surface plastic charms that clipped to a 100% silicone wristband and a keychain version of the band. These ready-made cues can be worn on the wrist or attached to a belt loop (or backpack strap, etc). They are easy to transport, manage, and reference. It’s like breaking away from a desktop computer to a cell phone and providing classroom-like structure in any setting.

Based on customer feedback and with our contractual agreement with Mayer-Johnson, LLC, we have expanded our charm inventory to include nearly 200 ready-to-print Boardmaker images. This allows us to create pre-fab kits (5/10/30 charms per kit) and to customize kits. Soon we will upgrade our website (www.qcharm.com) to reveal our list of charms and kits. Meanwhile, customers can request information via email (info@qcharm.com). Then we will send the list of images.

After creating kits for customers’ personal use, gifts and fundraisers, I thank our son for being the catalyst for QCharm. His Autism, which once felt like a burden, has become a meaningful way to serve others. What a blessing!

To arm yourself with visual cues and capture teachable moments, please contact us:

QCharm.com, info@qcharm.com, 888-498-1115.